okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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