I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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