Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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