I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
