Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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