what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
