I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize