Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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