In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
