Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
