Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
