i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
