I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
