HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She bit a glass in half.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize