it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
