Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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