He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize