Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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