everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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