um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
