I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
