Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
