The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
