We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
