is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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