so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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