bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
