Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
