So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
