how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
