Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think I won the penis lottery.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
