I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
