For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
