I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
