i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
