my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
where does the pee come out of this thing
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize