great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Of course I have a pirate flag
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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