Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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