yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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