i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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