maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
