You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize