You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
