i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
