Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize