remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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