Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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