I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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