i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
