i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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