I hate all girls vehemently.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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