Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
