You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
