summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
