first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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