Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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