Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
