help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
