Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
